The Spirit of Freedom Foundation

The Spirit of Freedom Foundation | home

Observations

by Rod Miller

First of all, I am one of the world's greatest optimists. Period!

Reality, for me, is sometimes a challenge when I fall into one of those reflective moods. Anyway the crisis of optimism meeting reality hit me between the eyes the other day when I realized ... NONE of us are getting out of this alive! Does that make me a pessimist too?

That thought kind of makes me think of something our dearly departed George Carlin might have said ... actually, he probably did at one time or another. I liked his thoughts about God, especially the one where he suggests that possibly the person we were all praying to was not actually God at all, but just his western regional sales manager. Great stuff, George. By the way, how many virgins do atheists get?

Actually, atheists like Carlin are rather courageous. Going forth into the darkness with all that confidence takes some testicular fortitude. Or, is it just bravado. How does one tell all those folks whose beliefs the atheist challenged that, well, maaaybe there is a God? Maybe they don't want to fall into the political trap of being tagged as a flip-flopper ... kind of like falling into a wedding cake face first and rather than getting right up and cleaning, one decides to take a few bites.

I often thought that an atheist should at least suggest that they COULD BE closet agnostics, thus giving them an escape route ... I mean, just in case.

I guess at the precise moment of departure for the afterlife, one could second guess his or her self. What would you do in that instant? Become an agnostic and beg for more time to think about it? Or, would you jump right in and become an instant believer? Any thought that a kind and merciful God would indeed NOT give you just one extra second to re-think the meaning of your entire life? Kind of like changing a test answer when the bell rings.

Other's folks are left to speculate on their eventual destination. THAT gives lots of folks pause too and takes up a lot of their time as they ponder their fate. Fortunately, from the total non-believers to the cool-aid drinkers and Hale-Bop Comet tail-gaiters, there is a lot to choose from in between. At least the Hale-Bop group had a cool logo:

I mean, some folks REAAALLY, REAAALLY believe.

I got to thinking the other day about those Islamic folks who blow themselves up or otherwise destroy their lives. It seems they do it for God which prompts the question why did they kill themselves if their God gave them life? Makes them 'Indian Givers' in my book.

From http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/202850.html ... Meaning one who gives a gift but later takes it back.

"Indian giver derives from the alleged practice of American Indians of taking back gifts from white settlers. It is more likely that the settlers wrongly interpreted the Indians' loans to them as gifts. "

Along that line of thought, apparently the guys do it to gain access to their own harem of 72 virgins, one of whom we think is pictured much further down.

Anyway, wouldn't it be funny, what with the miserable way that Islam treats their women as inferiors, if Achmed gets to his version of the promised land ... only to find that God is a WOMAN!

That thought should endear me to the feminists. (Aside: It amazes me how mostly university trained ladies can get all tied up in mental knots despairing of their absence of a scrotum. I could go on, but will save that for another day).

Anyway, I sure wish those medieval whacko's would clarify this 72 virgins thing:

Do bi-sexuals get 36 of each?

Do Siamese twin bombers get 144?

What if one prefers experienced women?

Is Viagra available ... just in case?

and the thing they should worry about most is ... what if the virgins think he is ugly and wont have anything to do with him?

Kind of like the current Iranian president.

Nuff 'o that ... Somewhere I have a list of about 75 of those queries. Maybe I will add them if you insist.

Now I think I am fairly well up on matters such as national pride and perhaps some of that takes up their thinking ... I mean beyond the 72 virgins. But what I don't get is why their women are doing are blowing themselves up.

Oh yes, I know Abdul got taken out by a sniper and she is just 'getting even so on, but I am wondering about their heavenly just rewards. You know the equivalent to the 72 virgins? Or do their women get screwed (there must be a better word) in the afterlife as well?

Islam so confusing!

His FIRST Virgin!